“Sometimes…your largest fear carries

your greatest growth!”

—Meagan McCrery—

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The Perfect Storm

by Debbie Allen

The skyline of Denver couldn’t have been any darker back in June of 1965.  This segment of time is recorded in the city’s newspaper archives as, “The Year of the Flood!”  Inside the city, torrential rains pelted the streets for days unending.  The Platte River overflowed its banks, city streets became little canals, and homes never intended to become house-boats, drifted away on the river’s rising currents.  Down the street from this scene, inside Children’s Hospital, lights flickered on and off. Nurses spoke, wide-eyed, about doctors, patients, and visitors still stranded in elevators halted by all the power failures.  Inside my room, just beyond the nurses’ station, I remember crying silently. I was only ten years old.  My sickness, compounded with the fear inside of me, compelled me to just pull the blankets up over my head and close my eyes tightly.  Little did I know it, but the storm which now drove me under the covers in fright, would someday be recorded in the archives of my mind as “The Perfect Storm.”

You see… my parents admitted me in the hospital the day before, to have some tests run.  As I lay under the covers trembling, I could not help hearing the raindrops splattering against the giant hospital window by my bed. After two days, I considered the very sound of them a nuisance.  In my ten-year-old brain, every split and splat I heard registered more like tiny, battle cries coming from each drop.  I saw them as my enemies.  Uninvited intruders who managed to invade my world; by conspiring with nature to wash out the only two bridges leading down to Children’s Hospital from the suburbs.  Unfortunately, my mom and dad couldn’t come and visit me for a couple of days because of it. More cause for me to stay under the covers and hide!   Feeling sick, frightened, and isolated all at once, weighs heavy on a ten-year-old little girl’s heart. I couldn’t even begin to see my way out of this pile of troubles, so… God found His way into them instead.

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“I couldn’t even begin to find my way out of this pile of troubles, so… God found His way into them instead.”

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Feeling a tug on the sheets, I looked up to find a pair of ebony cheeks and polished, brown eyes peeking-in on me.  They belonged to Nurse Crandall.        

“Whatcha doin, little one?  You can’t hide from me!  Don’t you know that I’m the Queen of Hide n’ Seek?  I’ll find you wherever you go!” she exclaimed in her slow, Southern drawl.

With those words, Nurse Crandall laughed until she cried.  I could only muster one little smile her way.  She pulled me out from under the sheets and helped me into a child-sized wheelchair.  Tucking a warm blanket around me and gently pushing my hair out of my eyes, she spoke these words of warning.

“Hold on tight girl… ‘cause we’re goin for a little ride.  You and I are goin down to have your picture taken!”

Nurse Crandall made the journey sound like an adventure, so I nodded my head in reluctant agreement.
Though the hallway lights still flickered on and off, she whistled cheerfully, pushing me down to an empty room labeled, “x-ray.” Then she motioned me towards a large, flat, black surface. Above me, I spotted some sort of hospital monster.  Nurse Crandall gave me a boost and instructed me to lay face-down and bottoms-up, in the middle of that dark surface. As I did so, I heard the monster shifting and groaning above me. I felt as timid as a little field mouse being circled by a big bird of prey! Nurse Crandall threaded some clear plastic tubing up inside of me while trying to reassure me that the monster (or camera, as she called it), was harmless.  All I had to do was lay there while she filled my unsuspecting bladder with liquid dye; during the x-ray.

“Oh, how I wanted out of this uncomfortable situation!” I cried, silently. 

As Nurse Crandall proceeded, she gave me a pat of encouragement on my backside.

“Now, you just let me know when you think you can’t handle any more!”       

Less than a minute into this process, I yelled-out,

“That’s enough! Stop… that’s all I can hold!”

Fully expecting her to stop the process, I was disappointed at her lack of response to my desperate pleas.  She offered me only a sympathetic smile. Still watching the x-ray screen and shaking her head, Nurse Crandall finally answered.

 “Oh, Honey!  You can handle a lot more than you think you can!”

And to my surprise, I did!  I had no choice but to trust in her knowledge and care; after all, she could see me from the inside out.

Sometimes what we are feeling when difficulty descends on our life; doesn’t give us a true perspective of all that’s really going on around us. I’m convinced that our ‘perfect storms’ don’t just happen to us; but God allows them for us to experience new spiritual growth in life.  In the fifty-seven years that have passed since that day in Children’s Hospital, Nurse Crandall’s words have continued to shape and refine my life.  Her sweet presence and the sounds of her voice in my childhood that day, became for me, a virtual snapshot of Jesus; which I’ve carried around in my heart for most of my life. Even today, when storms rise and fall around me; I sometimes feel like little girl again. Alone… face-down in the darkness…and enduring the un-endurable. But that’s also when I feel God’s Hand tugging on the sheets, I’ve pulled over my head in my hiding-place.  He so gently lifts me up, wrapping me in the warmth of His Presence; whispering His Goodness into the canyons of my grown-up soul.

“You can’t hide from Me, child. Don’t you know…I’ll find you wherever you go. Oh honey, you can handle a lot more than you think you can!”

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“All of the perfect storms we encounter in life don’t just happen TO us; but God allows them FOR us to experience new spiritual growth over the course of our life.”

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Even now, new strength rises inside my heart every time I hear these words. I know I can rest assured that no matter what storms may come my way, I can fully trust in the One Who’s watching over me. He knows how much I can handle because Jesus sees me from the inside out.

“Depend on (Jesus) and keep at it, because in (Jesus) you have a sure thing.” (Isaiah 26:4 MSG)

HEART TRAPPINGS:

Dearest Father in Heaven…

These powerful words of Nurse Crandall’s, formed the perfect ending to my first week of walking with You, Jesus, my Savior. I was just a child back then but, You, in Your Wisdom, placed me in my own ‘perfect storm’ so that I might experience Your Presence through Nurse Crandall and her words to me; in a way that has touched my life forever.  You gave me such a unique picture of what it looks like to both grow and learn to trust in You, in all the perfect storms of life. The only thing that makes them perfect, is that YOU are in them!  I pray for all those who may be face-down in their own darkness; exposed…vulnerable…and fearful. Cup Your hands around their chin…pull their gaze into Your Own.  Lift their head and allow them to hear the beautiful words You spoke to me through Nurse Crandall. “You can handle a lot more than you think you can.” May we all find strength and solace in the sounds of Your Voice, Jesus. Only there, in the eye of the storms, will we ever find new growth; and discover our own limitations in light of Your great Power and Love for us.

In Jesus’ Name…AMEN