“But the Eyes of the Lord

are watching over those

who fear Him, who rely upon

His Steady Love. Only He can

help us; He Protects us like

a Shield.”

(Psalms 33:18, 20b LAB)

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“The Shield Around Me“

by Debbie Allen

Over seven years ago now, God called me into an unexpected and unwanted journey, involving my right eye.  April 16, 2017, marked the day the light went out of that eye, due to a torn and separated retina. Darkness rushed into the place where I’d known only light all of my life. No rhyme… no reason…no warning. I woke up one morning and was helpless to change my circumstances on my own.   The only thing I could see were the Fingerprints of God, all over an unexpected season in my life.  And if I’m honest…every day up until now.

So often in life, I’ve found that God uses the darkness we encounter in our life’s journey to birth something greater in His children. My eye was no exception. As one circumstance led to another, I was being pointed by God, to a Retina Specialist/Surgeon who believed she could put light back into my eye.   Two days after meeting her, she performed major surgery on my eye; restoring the light inside of it…and sending me down a new pathway in my life; one I would never have chosen for myself. A pathway, that only God knew would bring Him more Glory than my former way of seeing things ever could have.

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“God uses the darkness we encounter in our life’s journey

to birth something greater in His children.”

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Once the inside of your eye unravels, even after being repaired, the chances of it unraveling again remain high. This in mind, Dr. Dee felt it necessary to perform an additional major surgery on my eye only a month later; just to be on the safe side.  She placed what is known as a buckle, or a shield, around the entire outside of my eyeball. This shield holds my retina firmly in place.  It’s my added protection against having to live in darkness again.  It helps to keep everything from coming apart…including me. 

Spiritually, I believe that the shield around my eye also speaks of an even Greater Shield surrounding my entire life. The physical shield protecting my eye, is my ever-present daily reminder to my heart of the Lord…Whose Everlasting Arms are wrapped tight around me…holding me, keeping me from coming apart at the seams even when things look their darkest. Through all the wavering high and low pressures continuously plaguing my eye; and the rigorous mountains and valleys I’ve walked through in my life over these last seven years now; only once did the enemy’s intrusive whispers cause me to question or doubt the strength of the physical shield placed around my eye…or the trustworthiness of my Faithful God. God continues to tell me over and over again in His Word: “I am your Protecting Shield.” (Deuteronomy 33:27a NLT). I believe this truth with all my heart. Even so…one day recently, something changed inside my eye again.

A seven- year struggle to regulate high pressure in my eye suddenly reversed. Now the pressure in my right eye was so low it was no longer measurable. No pressure in my eye; brought with it, not darkness, but a dusk-level of dim light to try and see my world through. On top of this, Dr. Dee reversed a decision that she’d “…done every surgery on my eye that she could do.” Unable to visibly detect what was wrong with my eye; she now stood in front of me saying, “I’m going to have to do exploratory surgery on your eye.”  She speculated that “the shield around my eye was broken, might need to be removed, or had a hole in it, and was pressing down into the white part of my eye causing an abrasion, leakage of fluid, and infection.”  Watching me squirm in my chair at the thought of what just transpired, Dr. Dee put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. She looked me square in the eye, and told me straightforward, “This is something new with your eye…we are on a new journey now!”  Leaving the exam room that day, Dr. Dee’s last words still echoed in my thoughts.  Though she intended that little word ‘we’ as a reference to ‘her and I’…deep inside of me I already knew that it was God who was telling my heart personally that He and I… ‘We’ are on a New Journey now!”

I felt a little like the ancient Israelites, who had only a moment’s notice to pack-up all their things to journey across the desert whenever they saw God (in the form of a Pillar of Cloud) moving ahead of them; leading them towards their next unknown destination. Two days later, I packed-up all my things and followed God’s lead to the Surgical Center for another major eye surgery. Like the Israelites, I’d learned one step at a time, that I could trust God fully with my life…even when being led to unknown places.

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“Let the dawning day bring me revelation of Your Tender, Unfailing Love.”

(Psalms 143:8 TPT)

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The day of surgery, my husband and I left the house just as the sun was coming up.  In the first light of the day, I felt God reminding me of His Presence going before me; especially when we passed a giant billboard beside the highway, displaying a giant JESUS all across it. My heart had to smile! For the verse I read in my Bible before we even left the house was this:

“Let the dawning day bring me revelation of Your Tender, Unfailing Love” (Psalms 143:8).

Just an accident? Maybe a coincidence? Not a chance!  When I was being prepped for surgery, the nurse who was assigned to me, entered the room like warm sunshine. Brimming from ear to ear, she introduced herself as being “the one who would be taking good care of me’, and assured me, ‘I was in good hands.’ But when she revealed to me that her name was, ‘Dawn,’ and told me “I’ll be praying for you!” as they wheeled me out for surgery…I knew God was just showing me once more, that He really was Present and going before me in this new journey. By the light of two ‘Dawns’ I encountered in this one morning…I believe my God was actively revealing ‘His Tender, Unfailing Love’ to my heart, in His Own undeniable and miraculous ways!

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“As we trust, we rejoice with an uncontained joy flowing from YAHWEH!”

(Psalm 33:21 TPT)

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On this side of another major surgery again, I can tell you that Dr. Dee did find a small tear in the white part of my eye and successfully repaired it.  The hole was on the backside of my eye just beyond the shield…so I emerged from the surgery with my eye’s shield still fully intact!  Why is that so important to me?  Over the past seven years, that shield has become for my heart, a tangible reminder of God’s Presence and Protection in my life.  Though it can’t be seen when you look at me, I know it’s a very real presence inside of me, and it surrounds my eye, securely holding things together that might otherwise fall apart.

On a grander scale, life itself is a lot like that unpredictable, right eye of mine. At any given moment it has the potential of coming apart at the seams when we least expect it.  Suddenly, and without warning, our whole life can shift and fall apart. A health crisis, strained relationships, an unexpected death, to mental and emotional trauma or anxiety and depression…and the list goes on.  Yes, there are doctors, counselors, pastors; and even friends and family available to us that can help ‘put’ us back together.  But much like my eye after the first surgery; the risk of falling apart again remains high unless something more permanent is done.  Humanity’s hands are capable of working small miracles when it comes to ‘putting us back together’, but God’s Hands are the only Hands truly capable of ‘holding us together,’ and ‘keeping us from falling apart.’ when seasons of struggle or life-altering circumstances descend upon us.

One of the greatest life-lessons God has taught me through my own personal encounters with blindness, and all the other unimaginable traumas that followed concerning my right eye, is that God Himself is our life’s Shield, wrapped-around all of our life’s broken pieces.  He’s the Ever-Present Help our spirits cry out for in our deepest, darkest times of need. Never will He ever fail to supply us with the abundant Grace needed to empower our hearts to keep moving forward and keep following our God…even when He’s leading us on a journey through the desert… to unknown places. Keep holding onto Him…knowing without a doubt…He’s Holding onto you. He is the Ever-Present Shield surrounding us in life; giving us the hope that the eyes of our frail hearts need to see more clearly: “ALL things really do HOLD TOGETHER IN HIM” (Colossians 1:17).

Oh Lord…You are the One Who Heals our blindness in this life. You are also our Greatest Remedy for the loss of vision and darkness that continues to plague our world, when it comes to seeing the Truth and Glory of Your Presence all around us.  You remain Faithful to Care for your children even in all our darkness; never leaving us to journey alone in the desert places we are called to face in this life. Please… Pour Your Light into our deepest darkness. Give us peace where worry and brokenness prevail. Allow us joy even though pain overtakes us. Grant us Your Strength to endure and grow from every journey You pre-destined us to walk beside You on, even in desert places. “You alone, Lord… are our Radiant Hope, and we trust in You with all of our heart. May “Your Wraparound Presence (Shield) will Strengthen us” (Ps. 33:20 TPT). 
“When we live our lives in the Shadow of God Most High, our Secret Hiding Place, we will always be shielded from harm.”
(Psalm 91:9 TPT)

In Jesus Name we pray, AMEN.

  

“Be joyful always,

Pray continually;

Give thanks in

all circumstances…”

(1 Thess. 5:16-18a NIV)

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Five L-o-n-g Minutes

by Debbie Allen

Listening to the soft sounds of deep sleep still wafting over from my husband’s side of the bed; I raised my sleepy eyes up into the skylight above us. I began to pray silently for the day. Having long understood that every new day offers me an opportunity to go a little deeper with God, I asked Him to teach me more about His Heart, His Ways, and His Character… so I might become a better reflection of His Love to others. Though this wasn’t the first time I’d ever asked God for these things…it was the first time I remember ending my prayer with this request: “Lord…draw my eyes to Your Presence today… and please help me not to miss anything You have for me.”  After a soft ‘amen’ and a smile in God’s direction, I jumped up to get ready; totally unaware of the impact those last few words I prayed would have on me and my husband before the day was over.

Every Wednesday morning, Jim and I meet family for breakfast at a favorite Denny’s Restaurant. The waitresses greet us with a smile, and have a cup of coffee ready and waiting for us by the time we reach the table they’ve already set up for us.  We are so regular as customers here; they don’t offer us menus anymore because our waitress has memorized what all six of us order each time!  Even if we forget, they remember. Talk about predictable! However, about halfway through our breakfast this day, anything labeled predictable disappeared from sight.

After our waitress refilled my coffee, I heard my husband, Jim, sigh so I turned towards him.  He was looking back at me but, after speaking just two words, his eyes closed and his head dropped down until his chin came to rest on his chest. It was almost like someone just unplugged him. Though still in a sitting position, he was out cold.  Nothing could’ve prepared me for that! He’d hardly been sick a day in his entire life. My heart raced at the thought of it.  Holding his limp hand in mine, I slipped my other hand around the back of his neck; lifting his head up while trying to talk to him. I continued looking for signs of a stroke or heart attack, while my sister-in-law frantically called 911. For five l-o-n-g minutes, I spoke into Jim’s glazed, brown eyes, praying the sounds of my voice might stir him back to consciousness. He remained nonresponsive. I felt totally helpless. I couldn’t help but wonder what parts of our life together were about to change…maybe forever.

By the time the paramedics arrived, Jim was stirring once more and insisting, “I’m ok…I feel fine.” After a barrage of questions, the paramedics reluctantly, allowed him to walk over to the gurney waiting for him at Denny’s front doors, and then they loaded him into the back of their vehicle and closed the doors.

As I stood alone in the shadow of the rescue truck that morning, my hands were trembling and my heart still pounding. One “what if?” after another marched, uninvited, into the chaos of my swirling thoughts.  That’s when I looked up to see a young, pregnant, woman walking through the parking lot and heading straight for me.  Though she was a complete stranger, she stopped and wrapped her arm around my shoulder asking, “Are you alright?” Her kind eyes looking into mine, she listened intently while I recounted the morning’s unexpected events.  To my surprise, she grasped my hands in hers and began to pray for both Jim and me. By the time she uttered her sweet ‘amen’, my hands were again steady and my heart much calmer.  Calm enough to drive myself to the hospital where the paramedics took Jim for a second opinion and a more thorough examination. 

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“Lord…You are Peace in my turmoil, Light in my shadows, and the Arm around my shoulders when

my world is spinning.”

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 Long story short, Jim and I left the hospital later that evening with more than thankful hearts.  Though we found it impossible to believe, he received a clean bill of health and was told that this health crisis ‘may or may not ever happen again in his lifetime.’ Jim, who isn’t fond of doctors or hospitals, was perfectly, satisfied with that definite-maybe diagnosis, but my own heart, though grateful, felt compelled to look deeper behind the scenes.

You see, I began that morning with a very specific prayer, asking the Lord to ‘teach me more about Himself, to draw my eyes to His Presence’ and ‘… not let me miss anything He had for me in this day.’  Through the unexpected and chaotic events that followed, I believe God, in His own lavish way, was answering those prayers…and then some.

 I felt the Lord’s Strength in those first few moments I sat holding the limp hand of the one who’d always held mine. I felt His Courage wash over me as I looked into Jim’s empty eyes; eyes that only a few seconds earlier reflected both light and love back to me. I sensed my Lord standing beside me in the shadows of that morning. I felt His Presence in the warmth of a stranger’s arm wrapped tight around my shoulders…and experienced His Peace in the beautiful words that flowed from the prayer this kind stranger prayed for Jim and I.

It wouldn’t be an understatement for me to say that those ‘five l-o-n-g minutes’ in my life that day taught me something I hope I never forget.  Even while standing in the middle of all our life’s troubles; we are able to hang-on to the Goodness and Love of the Lord; acknowledging the Truth that it is only “because of the LORD’s great Love we are not consumed” (Lamentations 3:22). Every step we walk in the direction of whatever God is pointing us towards, draws us closer to His Great Heart; deepening us and helping us to understand a little more of who we are and who we can be, when we find ourselves standing in the Light of His Presence and Love.

“The blessings are sweetest that are won with prayer and worn with thanks.”

–Thomas Goodwin–

Lord and Father in Heaven, remind our hearts in this season of Thanksgiving, that it is the Gift of Your Presence walking alongside us in life that should be the greatest THANKYOU of our life!  Your unfailing Love and awe-inspiring deeds continually leave us breathless. Teach us how we can “let every detail in our lives—words, actions, whatever— be done in the name of Jesus, thanking You, God the Father, every step of the way” (Col. 3:17 msg). Whatever the circumstances, open our eyes to the intrinsic value of being able to choose to walk in the Shadow of Your Presence and Love all the days of our lives!  Thankyou that even in our hardest times, You offer us Compassion and bring us unspeakable Joy.  Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!

In Jesus’ Name We Pray…AMEN

 

by Debbie Allen

“It was the best of days; it was the worst of days.” One summer day, back in the early 1900’s…no one could tell the two little girls left sitting at the kitchen table on their family’s Missourian farm, any different! Breakfast was over but, Hazel, 9, and Nina, 6, lingered behind the rest of their siblings; who’d marched off routinely to knock out their chore lists so they could play. Giggling non-stop, the girls recounted chasing the chickens around the coup that morning before gathering-up enough eggs in a basket to feed the twelve of them.

“Mama wasn’t pleased,” confessed Hazel, looking down in an effort to hide her uncontainable half-grin.

Little Nina lowered her gaze too, adding, ” Daddy was mad when I dropped the milk pitcher he just filled for me. He told me not to skip…but, I love skipping.”

A moment of silence reigned between them in an attempt to mourn their most recent poor choices. However, as soon as their gazes locked, this inseparable, duo-of-girlish-whims, wriggled and giggled their way back to the kitchen sink where Mama’s stern expression and towers of dirty, breakfast dishes awaited them.

“I’m the oldest so I’ll wash and you can dry!” Hazel chimed in, tossing the dish towel towards Nina.

Before the towel landed on Nina’s face, Mama caught it in mid-air, glaring at both of them.  Her patience now gone, Mama grabbed a pencil and the girl’s chore lists. With every new giggle or accidental, playful gesture between the girls, Mama added a new chore to their lists.

Eyebrows scrunched by now, and dresses dishwater-soaked, Nina and Hazel protested, “But Mama…that’s not fair!”

 “I’m too little for this big chore list!”

Without another word, Mama handed each of them a revised chore list.  Then she laid her apron aside and walked out the back door; knowing she’d struck the Achilles heels of these two little trouble-makers.  Her troublemakers… the two little girls whose hearts always beat in unison when it came to knowing how to turn serious work into play.

Before it was all over, Mama wore her own half-smile; for not only had she gained the upper hand…but a whole day off!

“It was the best of days…it was the worst of days!”

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“It was the best of days…it was the worst of days!”

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The two little farm girls pictured in the story above grew up to become my Dad’s Aunts from Missouri. Though their childhood antics followed them on into adulthood, both Aunt Hazel and Aunt Nina grew up to become the much-loved, faith-filled women, sisters, wives, mothers, and aunts that I, too, had the privilege of knowing and loving in my younger years. 

Hazel was tall and lean, anything but shy; creative and outspoken in all she said and did.   Nina was petite in both stature and size, quiet-natured, and soft-spoken to all. They were like vinegar and honey.   Each of them offered their own unique flavors to this world; but when you combined the two of them together; they became their own sweet remedy for turning anything serious into play. 

In their later years, long after their children were grown, husbands passed away, and great-grandchildren were too numerous to count; they sat across from each other visiting in the same kitchen at the farm house where they grew up. Aunt Nina was working on a sewing project and ran out of the color of thread she needed to finish it.  Determined to get it done that day, she turned to Aunt Hazel.

“Sis…is there any way we could drive into town to buy more thread?”

Almost without hesitation, Aunt Hazel responded.

“Yes…I imagine anything is possible; but we both know it’s going to take a little doing to get us there!”

After this conversation, both of them headed for Aunt Hazel’s old blue Ford, Betty; parked in front of the farmhouse.  It’d been sitting there since Uncle Ross passed away a year earlier.  Aunt Nina climbed into the passenger seat.  Aunt Hazel positioned herself behind the steering wheel.  Feeling along the steering column for the ignition, she turned the key and held her breath. 

“Come on Betty, give us one more time!” Aunt Hazel pleaded, before the engine sputtered and coughed, and finally cranked over.

Then…just as she’d done so many times when they were little girls, Aunt Hazel took charge; issuing Aunt Nina some final instructions for their roles in this grand adventure.

“Now remember, you do the talking and I’ll do the driving. Just keep me centered in the road and we’ll surely get there!”

Putting the car in gear, they coasted down to the single-lane, country road at the bottom of the driveway.  Aunt Nina hollered “LEFT…NOW RIGHT…LEFT AGAIN!” and Betty and the girls headed for the craft store; more than ten winding, miles of dirt-road away!  This is probably the only time in her life Aunt Nina ever hollered at anybody. 

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“It may be the best of drives…it may be the worst of drives, but…none of us can make any of those drives on our own.”

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For this 80-some-year-old, duo-of-girlish-whims, this day had the potential of becoming the best of days…or the worst of days.   You see, at the time, Aunt Hazel was totally blind…and her guidance system, Aunt Nina, had never driven a day in her life!  Miraculously, Betty and the girls made it to the craft store that day, bought the thread needed, and returned home unscathed; but not without a few near-ditch experiences!

 This story is tucked-away deep inside the pages of my family history.   It was only by accident that my Dad happened to share it with me. The thought of it still captures my heart! It’s so much more than just a story of childhood antics following these two dear, ladies into old age. It’s a tale of two sisters who, over the course of a lifetime; found a sweet, abiding contentment in each other’s presence.  I see one risking all… for the sake of another’s needs.  I see a heart willing to embark on a journey with only the sounds of another’s voice to guide them down an unseen stretch of road. I see unwavering obedience and blind trust in that same voice to keep them centered, in spite of near-ditch experiences all along the way.

If you look a little deeper, you also see the beauty of Heaven woven in and out of this tale. It’s a reflection of Jesus’ Heart.  His Desire…He longs for us to find contentment in His Sweet, Abiding Presence. His Love… always intentional and sacrificial, with our highest good in mind.  Hope…He gave us His all, His Life; so that we could have one.

Whether we like to admit it or not, all of us are blind to what the road stretched out in front of us looks like. If we choose to make the drive on our own, life will be one white-knuckle, near-ditch, experience after another; with no guarantee of ever reaching home. Consider the wisdom of two little farm girls from Missouri. Let’s invite Someone to sit next to us on the journey. Then choose to tune the ears of our hearts to the Sounds of His Voice for Guidance. His Love and Faithfulness demand and deserve our blind trust. Jesus is the only one who is able to keep us centered in our own life’s journey. “It might be the best of drives…it might be the worst of drives but…none of us can make any of those drives on our own.”

PRAYER: Dearest Father in Heaven…Thankyou for loving us through every journey we embark on. Forgive us for being so short-sighted in so many ways. Give us the courage to admit how blind we are when it comes to finding our own way around in this life. Help us to faithfully tune the ears of our hearts to the sounds of Your Voice. May we not miss hearing Your instructions for the drive we are making in this life. Fix our eyes and our ears upon You. Thankyou for being the God Who is always with us and Who never fails to Rescue us. We love You. In Jesus Name…Amen