“Sometimes all you

can do is NOT think,

NOT wonder, NOT

imagine, NOT obsess.

Just breathe and

have FAITH because

miracles do happen.”

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A Matter of the Heart

by Debbie Allen

When I was only a young teen, I remember my Pastor peering over the top of his Clark Kent-glasses and addressing the congregation on ‘faith in difficult times’. In an effort to cement in our hearts a clearer picture of what that faith might look like; Reverend Massi finalized his message that day, with this quote by Corrie Ten Boom.

“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.”

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“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.” – Corrie Ten Boom-

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I’ve never forgotten the wisdom in those words to this day!  My own heart has dredged them up countless times over the years, especially while journeying through my own tunnels in life.

A few years ago, I sat confidently on the edge of a cardiologist’s examination table; awaiting the results of an echogram on my heart. I started coming to see Dr. J as a precautionary measure only…or so I thought.  But she discovered I had two heart valves showing signs of leakage.  Still in shock that what I deemed my perfectly good heart, didn’t receive the clean bill of health I’d expected; I winced at her next words to me.   

“At some point in time…those valves will need to be repaired.”  

 I asked her if there was anything I could do on my own to strengthen those valves in any way.   

“No…” Dr. J replied in a very cut-and-dry tone. “Once the damage has been done there’s really nothing you can do to reverse it.”

The finality in her voice left my mind reeling and my heart pounding. Out of nowhere, Fear lurched forth to see what chaos he could contribute. Slipping-in close, he murmured his own flawed words of encouragement to my heart. “Hopeless…Hopeless…H-o-p-e-l-e-s-s!”  he jeered, at least a hundred times before I reached my car.  Collapsing down into the warmth of a patch of autumn sunshine on my seat, made me feel as though I’d just climbed into the Lap of Jesus.  In that safe place I prayed, shedding a few reluctant tears and pouring out the matter of my heart to Him.

“Lord?  Here I am. Your child…Your broken child.  I know that nothing is hopeless with You in it.  But please…show me the way through this!”

By the time my car reached the edge of the parking lot that day, my heart heard His gentle response to the tune of my own quickened pulse; “My child… sit still… and trust… the Engineer.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Through these familiar words from my teen years, the Lord let me know that my life’s tracks had led me into a tunnel.  Though my eyes couldn’t see past the darkness of right now, the Engineer could.  My part on His Train was to ‘sit still’ and ‘trust Him’.

Five-and-a-half years have passed since my first visit to see Dr. J. In all that time, her diagnosis of my heart hasn’t changed, and the cardiograms all read about the same. Even her words to me after each check-up remained the same.

“We’ll just keep an eye on things and see you next year!”   

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“Though my own eyes couldn’t see past the darkness of right now, I knew The Engineer could. My part on His Train was to ‘sit still’ and ‘trust Him’.”

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This year, however, something did change.  Dr. J entered the room in silence, studying my cardiogram; frowning, and shaking her head.  Used to being in the dark by now; I chose to use her silence as the backdrop from which the Engineer’s words resonated down inside of me, “Sit still…Trust Me…Sit still…Trust Me!”  

When she finally spoke, her words startled me.

Still scratching her head, she shared, “Your cardiogram reading this time was r-e-a-l-l-y good! I can’t understand it.  It makes no sense.”

Somewhere between shocked and elated, all I could think to say back was, “What do you think caused that?”

 Dr. J turned towards me, still pondering the results, and clamoring for the right words.  “I…honestly… I don’t know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Knowing the answer to my own question at that point, I offered back,

“Must be the Grace of God!”

My words ushered a great silence into the room.  Though I knew she heard me, I watched Dr. J continue trying to make sense out of solid medical facts that weren’t adding up, and the plain truth of my miracle results. I honestly believe that Dr. J left the room that day feeling more perplexed than I ever did!

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 “Often, He takes you to unwanted places, in uncharted territories for our frail hearts; just to expose His Love in you, to the empty and unbelieving souls that pepper life’s way.”

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Miracles, even small ones, and the stories connected to them draw a stark line between the doubts and denials of the unbelieving world, and the undeniable Truths of believers in Jesus.  Riding the rails of Life with Jesus as your Engineer, He promises you will see some amazing sights along the way. The mountains are high and steep, but Beauty often resides where the air is thinnest.  Countless times, He takes you to unwanted places, in uncharted territories for our frail hearts; just to expose His Love in you, to the empty and unbelieving souls that pepper life’s way.   There will be tunnels, too.  I have learned to look upon them as the Shafts of His Grace, carved by His Hand into our mountains, which reflect a picture of Jesus, carrying us through the darkness in His Strength.  In the place where our hearts can no longer see clearly; we are given an opportunity to learn what it is to ‘sit still’ and ‘trust the Engineer’.  His purposes are far greater than any mountain we will ever encounter in our life. As far as tunnels are concerned… God’s calling on the lives of His children doesn’t stop, even inside the tunnels we enter into.  Wherever we are, we are called to show the difference God makes in our life in a manner that points others to Jesus. For, sometimes we discover that it’s in the act of ‘trusting the Engineer’ in the darkness, that we become the miracle He’s performing in another’s life!

“[We are] God’s instruments to do His work and speak out for Him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference He made for you…” (2 Peter:10 b)

Father in Heaven, You are Lord over our lives whether in darkness or in light.  We will never know or appreciate Your Faithful Love in our lives until we learn to take it seriously. King David describes Your Love “as high as the heavens are above the earth.” (Ps. 103:11 CSB) It’s a Love way beyond our comprehension and ability to understand it.  But You do not ask us to make sense of it…just to ‘sit still’ and ‘trust’ in You.   Strengthen our frail hearts to see Your Hand at work in both our tunnels of darkness and our brightest of days. Teach us to see each of them as a chance for Your Miraculous Love and unfailing Strength to shine through us, into the unbelieving world! In Jesus Precious Name…AMEN